Someone got off at the wrong stop.
“Used” condoms are popping up on the New
York City subway system, and their perverted
owners are tying them to the handrails.
Gothamist first reported the seminal chaos
over the weekend, when readers started
sending in photos of what appears to be a
fluid-filled condom tied to a pole on a
Manhattan-bound F train.
As the days passed, the story went viral, and
an orgy of condom reports on the F train
flooded in. Some readers reported seeing the
condoms as far back as last month. Today it
appears that copycats and pranksters are
getting in on the latex gag. Still it’s yet
unclear whether the first dirty bomb of
loaded latex was actually full of hand lotion,
as the YouTube video below would have us
believe.

It is clear, however, that the condoms are
getting the Metropolitan Transportation
Authority hot and bothered. Spokesman
Kevin Ortiz told The Huffington Post that
he’d rather talk about the MTA’s budget
woes than the possible biohazard staring us
right in the face.
“As an avid Huffpost reader I am
disappointed that I get a request to speak
about a photo of a condom on the train,
when there are other more pressing issues
for the MTA to deal with,” Ortiz said.
Ortiz hung up, but another spokesman told
Gothamist that the MTA is doing everything
it can to keep more than 6,000 subway cars
clean. But they need your help. Spokesman
Adam Lisberg wrote:
This has been brought to the highest levels
of the subway system, and our cleaning
crews will be on the lookout for it whenever
they clean cars at the end of the line. They
will also note the car number, and then will
try to determine when it was last brought in
for a more thorough cleaning.
Subway cars usually get a basic cleaning
when they reach the end of the line — sweep
up the litter, mop the floor. And while a
condition like this should have been caught
and remedied, I can understand why cleaners
who are focused on the seats and floors
would not necessarily have looked up at
every grab bar on a 10-car train. Trains go in
for a more thorough cleaning at various
intervals, but without knowing the car
number, we can’t go back and determine its
maintenance history.
The point is, kids, don’t tie condoms to
subway poles, and if you see one, make note
of the subway car number and tell an MTA
employee.